So, you wanna know about my name?

Hi, I’m Rebecca Rabbit and I am not a porn star. 

Yeah, I know what you were wondering, I actually thought it might be a good idea at one time. Come on, who hasn’t thought about it?! Then I realised that being a porn star is actually a lot of work (I read some interviews for research), I’ve got lots of lumps and bumps and plus I don’t want the whole world seeing my ins and outs. 

Though, there is probably a bit of me somewhere on the internet, it’s 2021 and we’ve all done regrettable things. 

So, my name, the one I changed by deed poll but have yet to change on my bank account or driving licence because, well it’s just a bit embarrassing really and I wasn’t even drunk when I changed it. 

I am going to be getting a divorce soon and didn’t want to change my name back to my maiden name as that would be a step back in my mind, so I was having a cup of green tea from a mug with a rabbit on it. 

Rebecca Rabbit was born. 

Well, actually the Peppa Pig character was created before my name change so suppose she claims it really but, whatever don’t tell the kids…she’s not real! 

I am a a real human being who has constantly buggered up her life over the course of 32 years. Mostly because of men, or my reluctance to not be within 5ft of one without falling into a relationship with him. 

But, 2021 is coming to an end, COVID looks like it is a permanent fixture messing up any future plans until 2030 at the earliest, so I’m going to take this opportunity to take my own life into my own hands. 

I am going to run with it, the answer to all of my problems is running. It has helped me so much over the past couple of years. I’ve even completed a marathon! Everyone in my town and the surrounding towns know, and I will tell everyone till the world knows! 

So the plan is, to focus on running and instead of falling into relationships I’m going to fall out of them, fall out of love with, love if you will.  

I think it’s just attention that I crave, a wink and a smile and I’ll fall at your feet and into your bed, or over a wall, or wherever we are at the time in fact. 

I’m going to get some standards, no more unsuitable men, no more attached men, because that only ends in tears and death threats (true story), no more men full stop. 

It is paining me a little as I hover over the delete button on tinder (which I have been hovering over for at least 2 hours), but seeing as I can pick up in Coop or Tesco’s (not the really cheap supermarkets, don’t judge me too harsh), if I am desperate I’ll just hang out in isle 69. 

Just kidding I won’t really, I don’t think the isles go up that high and I don’t know any other numbers to associate with sex so that’s that game over. 

Right, I’m going to bed and I will have a renewed focus in the morning, after a well deserved lie in, it’s Sunday all ‘New day, new me’ plans should start with a lay in then a good breakfast with lots of carbs.

Sweet dreams. 

Love, 

Rebecca Rabbit